Seminar on relationship | Tamil Gita | Chennai | December 11, 2025
Okay. So anyway, the relationships are common, even among animals. Animals are social creatures also. You see the dogs or cats or whatever, monkeys or whatever, they all associate together. So, it’s a common feature among living entities. So, human relationships are more complex, however. One of the reasons is we have more complex minds. Okay. So through these relationships, of course, we’re trying to get some feeling of happiness. And if we examine all of our relationships, through all of that, we’re trying to get some feeling of happiness. Of course, we can also try to get happiness from objects. So, this is also trying to get happiness through sense objects. We’re often said to, we have to control our senses. Why? Because our senses go to different objects. So, whether it’s from objects or happiness from people or happiness from objects, it’s basically all part of material world. It all creates karma.
So, though many people try for happiness from objects, it’s not fully satisfying. Of course, we have some people completely obsessed with something material. Some are obsessed with eating, some with money, some with their possessions. Consequently, they neglect human relationships. However, ultimately, happiness through relationships among human beings is viewed as superior. So, even though you have all the possessions in the world because you’re very rich or whatever, still, if you don’t have relationships with other people, something is lacking. However, as I said, these relationships in human beings are a little bit complicated. And that’s all because we have Ahankara, mind, intelligence as part of our brain. And when we have relationships with people, we are expecting a certain type of happiness. And when we see people, even though the people don’t have those qualities or cannot give such happiness, we project that on different people.
We also have projections of who we are. We have a positive or a negative image. So, based upon our image and our images we’re projecting on other people, we establish all sorts of relationships. We’re very complex [Laughs]. All of this is in terms of our body. And this also, of course, is false. So, in this way, we have all sorts of projections of what is happiness for ourself and we project this on to other people. So, in this way, we’re establishing a whole type of false world. This is what we call Maya [Laughs]. So, in terms of our negative image of ourself and our positive image of ourself, we’re trying to project something on other people. So, we may see negative qualities in another person or very positive qualities in another person. But these are just our expectations of another person, not real. So, in this way, we develop a strong attraction or strong repulsion to another person. And we put these false projections on people. Then, sooner or later, we figure out, oh, they don’t have those qualities after all. And then we get disappointed.
So, we establish all sorts of relationships with people but it becomes very complex because we are expecting things from other people, other people are expecting from us. So, we have this very complex relationship based on mutual expectations, which may not even be true [Laughs]. So, because our mind is always fluctuating and people’s other minds are always fluctuating, then we end up with unstable relationships. And thus, we end up with all sorts of tension in relationships. And it’s all based upon our false perceptions. So, in one sense, we’re all living in a rather [Laughs] false virtual reality world [Laughs].
So, we’re trying to get happiness, but it’s all based on false projections. So, how can we actually be happy? Meanwhile, the Atma or the Soul, the Jiva is sitting there surrounded by all these false expectations. And ultimately, the Jiva can get no satisfaction from any of this. So, all of these relationships that we’re trying to establish, our concepts of happiness are actually false. So, how can we be satisfied? So, we end up with stress. We’re trying to be happy, we end up with stress [Laughs]. This stress operates on all levels, body, mind, emotions, behavior. We often observe people, they have very peculiar habits, peculiar addictions. Why? Because of stress. This, of course, can also lead to physical symptoms. Some of our sicknesses, many of our sicknesses are caused by stress [Laughs].
So, of course, as I said, all of this is based upon this false identity with the body. And then through that, we’re projecting how to be happy and we make all sorts of projections. So, somehow or other, we have to solve this problem because it’s unnatural for the Soul. So, in one sense, we create these bodies, we create our mind, we create our false identities in order to get rid of our pain [Laughs]. We see in the scriptures, it says that Jiva in the material world is trying to be happy and enjoy apart from Supreme Lord [Laughs]. So, we try to get happiness through material identities. But in the human being, because of our mind being so complex, we end up with all sorts of complex relationships to be happy that don’t actually work [Laughs]. So, we have to stop this projection of image of what we think we are, what we think other people are. We have to stop all of these false conceptions.
Of course, in sadhanas like Jnana Yoga or Astanga Yoga, this is exactly what they do. They destroy all of your impressions, all of your ahankara, all of your mind, all of your intelligence. Just destroy everything, then you get liberation. So, in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, his definition of yoga is to stop all material consciousness functions, stop all of the material consciousness, all aspects. Then you become very peaceful, no more stress [Laughs]. So for that reason, the yogis begin to practice Yama, Niyama, Asana, Pranayama, Dharana, Dhyana to get Samadhi. When you get Samadhi, then all mental functions have stopped. Unfortunately to follow this process very difficult. Here we see the yogi up in some mountain and he is meditating for thousands of years [Laughs], very difficult for most people to do.
So in Bhagavad Gita, Krishna suggests an easier method of controlling the mind. In Chapter 2, he says actually you should try to get a higher taste. We can stop the senses but still we desire to get some taste. So in Jnana Yoga and Astanga Yoga, they stop all of the taste completely. But this is very difficult to do. So instead of stopping all your taste, he says you redirect the taste. Of course, we are trying to get our happiness in this world by our body and identity, then at the same time, we reject completely Atma and Supreme Lord. So instead of stopping this taste completely, we can redirect Atma towards Supreme Lord and develop that taste. So this is what will give actual happiness to the Atma. Why? Because trying to get happiness from the body, from the senses, from our false identity, never succeeds. And by doing that, making this connection with Supreme Lord, then all of these problems stuck in our mind and our subtle body are dissipated.
We see that in our mind we have all sorts of attachments, all sorts of anarthas, all sorts of false conceptions [Laughs]. So by developing this connection with Krishna, then all this gets destroyed. In Bhagavatam first canto, Krishna says, it is said that Krishna, in the heart, through bhakti yoga, destroys all of the obstacles. So when we connect with Krishna, then all these problems of physical health and our concepts of our self, understanding the world, relationships, purpose in life, all become solved. So that is why at the end of Bhagavad Gita says, just surrender unto me, give up all of these dharmas. So instead of stopping and destroying the mind and the senses, we engage the senses and mind. So we engage the senses in a positive relationship with Krishna. But in establishing that relationship with Krishna, we shouldn’t have all these false conceptions that we have in the material world.
So the whole process of bhakti yoga is engaging the senses, in doing so, the atma gets connected with Krishna. So what is this relationship? It’s a relationship of love and affection. So this relationship will give real happiness. It is free of all sorts of false identity. It’s a relationship between two spiritual entities, the Atma and the Supreme Lord. It is very unlike material relationships. All material relationships are based on bodies. And all the results are at best mixed. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are distressed. And all the material relationships are temporary. So when we establish a relationship with Krishna, that is eternal relationship and it gives increasing bliss. This pure relationship we call rasa. And just as in the material world, we have a variety of affectionate relationships, mother to child or friends, etc., husband and wife. So in the spiritual world, we establish a rasa with Krishna and it could be of these various types also. So ultimately, this whole process of bhakti yoga is to establish this loving relationship with Krishna and will produce the highest bliss. And in that relationship, there are various emotions, but all spiritual. So therefore the whole cure for all of these types of relationships [Not clear] material world is to establish a relationship with Krishna.
So we see in our temples, we have deities of Radha and Krishna. So this is, relationship of Radha and Krishna is one of affection. So we can also establish such a relationship with Krishna. The easiest way we can do that by engaging our senses is through nama sankirtana. So actually when we’re chanting in japa or doing kirtan and we’re calling out Krishna’s name, we are establishing that relationship of affection with Krishna. And this, of course, destroys all material problems.
Okay. Hare Krishna.
Q & A :
1.) Prabhuji is asking that, in this world in our family relationships we are directly seeing the family members and we are having relationships. But in the case of Krishna because we are not directly seeing Krishna, we are not directly experiencing Krishna. So how can we establish the relation with Krishna? How can we improve that relation with Krishna and experience that bhakti rasa?
Okay. Well, of course, one way is we give up all the material relationships and take sannyasa [Laughs]. But that is very difficult for most people. But this is what the yogis and jnanis have to do. They have to take sannyasa. So, in the process of bhakti yoga, one does not have to take sannyasa. One can be a householder, brahmachari, grhastha, vanaprastha, sannyasi. Anyone can practice bhakti yoga. Anyone can establish relationship with Krishna. So gradually we develop this attraction to Krishna. And in the process, attraction to everything else decreases. So, it’s a process of gradual renunciation.
2.) Hare Krishna Maharaj, dandavat Pranam Maharaj. Very nice class about the relationship around us prabhu and very practical prabhu we keep expectation around the people around us, either may be family members or even friends or people surrounding us and we get into stress. We know that theoretically we are able to understand prabhu but being grhastha, we are again and again being exposed to the same thing prabhu, either our japa practice is not sufficient. I want to know the answer. Hare Krishna.
HH Bhanu Swami Maharaj: What is the question?
Devotee 1: Can you again tell the question mataji?
Devotee 2: Hare Krishna prabhu. We are keeping expectation as Maharaj said, we are keeping expectation around the people around us, either may be relatives or friends or other people around us and again and again we are getting into stress and to a certain extent we are able to limit due to our, but being in the grhastha, we are going into the same phase again and again prabhu.
HH Bhanu Swami Maharaj: Okay. So anyway we do have to tolerate any situation in the material world.
Devotee 2: But how to come out of it prabhu?
HH Bhanu Swami Maharaj: Yeah. Well, we tolerate by practicing bhakti. Here we see Lord Caitanya in his instructions in Sikshastaka, he says, you have to be tolerant as a tree and humbler than a blade of grass when you are chanting Hare Krishna. So as we advance in bhakti we become a little bit indifferent to all of the material situations but we tolerate them.
Devotee 2: Hare Krishna.
HH Bhanu Swami Maharaj: Hare Krishna.
3.) Hare Krishna Maharaj, Hare Krishna prabhuji. My question is I am yet to understand my soul. I am still associating myself with the body although I know I am a soul and how can with this materialistic understanding about me can I develop a relationship with the Divine Krishna Maharaj?
So we start out of course, with very strong material identity but we do learn from Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam philosophical or theoretical knowledge, I am not the body, I am the soul. Are you going to translate this or not [Laughs]? So of course, the more we do bhakti, then the more attraction we develop for Krishna, the less attraction we have for anything in the material world. We cannot artificially and suddenly, suddenly give up all relationships in the material world. But the more taste we have for relationship with Krishna, then the less taste we will have for every other relationship. So, as we progress in bhakti and we have less material attachment, consequently less material identity and in that sense, we identify more with atma.
Devotee 1: Hare Krishna Maharaj. Even with our everyday sadhana bhakti will we progress?
HH Bhanu Swami Maharaj: Even with?
Devotee 1: Our everyday sadhana bhakti like chanting.
HH Bhanu Swami Maharaj: Yes, the whole idea is sadhana will give us more attraction to Krishna, less attraction to maya.
Devotee 1: Thank you Maharaj. Thank you prabhuji. Hare Krishna.
Devotee 2: Maharaj this mataji is sharing her thoughts that, whenever she feels a lot of load in her mind, she just goes and pours out her heart to Krishna. Then she is appreciating your class that when we develop more attraction to Krishna, our attachment to the worldly things reduce. And she says that, I go and pour out my heart to Krishna, like that she says.
HH Bhanu Swami Maharaj: Okay, fine [Laughs].
4.) Hare Krishna prabhuji. Hare Krishna Maharaj. So what I understood is, to improve relationship we should not have expectation. And because of the false images with people we are stuck in maya. But how to reform this image Maharaj and how to artificially think that all are good? By chanting it will get faded away or any other?
Okay [Laughs]. So as Bhagavad Gita chapter 2 says, we should see all living entities whether it is a dog or a brahmana or a mleccha, we don’t see the bodies, we treat them all equally as atma. But such a vision is difficult to suddenly produce, we have to do that gradually through bhakti.
5.) Mataji is asking that, Krishna says that give up all your dharmas and surrender to me. And when we are attempting to do that, we get, we are actually tested by different problems. So at that time how do we deal with them?
So of course, giving up all dharmas etc also means that we at least give up attachment to everything else that we are doing. That we have to give everything up. So we gradually develop more attraction to Krishna, develop disinterest in everything else. If we develop a taste for Krishna, then we will not be disturbed by all the different circumstances.
6.) My doubt is, we took birth in this world because of karma and the relationships also because of our karma. So we can understand little bit while reading Bhagavad Gita and Bhagavatam all, we have to redirect our mind, intelligence and ahankara towards Bhagavan. Then we will be relieved from this bondage. But what is the, where we have to draw a line, that is confusing. Is it duty? We have to do duty without expecting? All these things, that is theoretically we know. But carrying out this practically, where is the boundary line? Where we have to do the duty and then where we have to do bhakti yoga. There we find it difficult. Kindly guide us prabhuji and Maharaj.
So we have to, we can use our intelligence but we have to be guided by scripture. And Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita, give up all dharmas, so, but that’s difficult to do. So you perform bhakti and you can do your other duties but gradually develop detachment from them. We develop more taste from relationship with Krishna, less taste from other relationships.
Okay I have to go now. Hare Krishna.
Devotees: Grantharaj Srimad Bhagavatam ki jai!!! HH Bhanu Swami Maharaj ki jai!!! Srila Prabhupada ki jai!!! Nitai Gaura Premanande Hari Haribol!!!